those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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