im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize