Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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