I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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