people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
