Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
