you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
