He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
