My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
