Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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