if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
