If i come over, it means nothing
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
