So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
