I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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