Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
