don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
