I am in a vortex of obligation.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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