I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
