it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
