So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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