You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i drank out of a bidet.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
