no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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