You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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