ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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