So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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