Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
