So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
