just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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