Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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