Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I love black thongs
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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