We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
pop tarts are not kleenex
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
