You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
