nut hugger
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
