my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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