nut hugger
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize