dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
i now understand why vodka
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
