Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Randomize
