i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
