so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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