at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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