I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I could fuck to npr.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
