she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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