He had one of those small greek statue penises
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
