Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
When are your genitals available?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
