just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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