Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
