So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize
