I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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