How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
