...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I think I just shit out all my problems.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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