Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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