Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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