i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
party gras won. party gras always wins.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
