I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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