you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize