I hope my margaritas pass through security.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
