Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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