We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
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Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
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They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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