Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
