Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
