I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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