My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
