Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
