She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
