you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
