and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
